when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize