Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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