Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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