Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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