His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
