yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
