I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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