I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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