he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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