Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize