She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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