I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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