it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
