So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
