Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
