What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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