I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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