this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
