She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
