i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
