Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
