Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
