i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
