Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize