I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
