I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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