a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
