question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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