We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
