She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize