I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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