how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
His hands were made for my vagina.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
