Soap is not a condiment
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
