People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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