So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
