Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
