he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
