let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
