Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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