you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
