I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
