I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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