the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
