meet me or not, i'm out of control
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
