I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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