North Korea, Best Korea!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
