Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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