like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
