Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
