Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
