So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
