can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
