guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
