Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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