He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Girls should come with a carfax report
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
