Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Everyone says I win the strip club
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
