And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
