i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
