I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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