my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
