the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
