you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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