i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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