So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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