But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
